Interfering
by xxKaraKayxx
Summary: The Gods interfere slightly with two soul-mates who HAVE to get together! Random, pointless, and absolutely non-realistic. Funny ending! Suitable for any age (I don't know the ratings...)


**My second one shot! Enjoy!**

**This one is a lot more random and pointless. **

Interfering

Summary: The Greek gods decide to help two British would-be lovers…

Aphrodite sat, in the poised, elegant way she always did, in her delicate white throne in the Hall of the Gods.

Today was especially interesting. Two soul mates were getting married in an extravagant ceremony, and Aphrodite was preparing to send them a special gift: a diamond heart decoration. This couple was wealthy but humble, and lived in a two-story white, charming house with climbing roses. The heart would go perfectly above their bed.

A glowing golden screen caught her attention.

"Well!" she said to herself softly. "It seems we have a spat…"

In Hogwarts, second floor, rarely used corridor, Hermione was quarreling with Malfoy.

"If you're so dumb as to trip over a tile, for goodness sake, and tip an entire jar of beetle eyes into the cauldron, this would not have happened!" Malfoy shouted.

"Well, you arrogant bastard, if you hadn't laughed, slipped, and poured an entire bowl of parsley into the cauldron, this wouldn't have happened!" Hermione screamed back.

What happened? Well, in Potions the substitute teacher had paired them together to make Amortentia. She thought they looked 'adorable' together.

Whoever thought of something so stupid?

Anyway, they had been arguing when they spoilt the potion and it erupted, splashing all over the two so they now had pink hair.

It was extremely funny, and the whole class would have burst into tears of mirth if the victims weren't the scariest pair in Hogwarts.

Malfoy could sue your family and ensure your unhappiness for your entire life.

Hermione, well, she knew some mean spells and could hit mighty hard, too. She also looked rather demented when she screamed at you.

Even the teacher looked on the verge of bursting out in chuckles.

Of course, together with pink hair, they had had pink clothes, pink skin, and an identical pair of shocked expressions.

Anyhow, they had changed their clothes and washed out their skin, but their hair dye just wouldn't come off.

"It'll take a week, perhaps," Dumbledore had said.

Now, Hermione was furious. She thought that Malfoy had tripped her on purpose—which he did, of course.

Malfoy was furious, because he thought that Hermione had planned this whole thing, but it had backfired and affected her as well.

Which one is more realistic?

"Zeus," Aphrodite called, "We need to get this couple together!"

"Aphrodite, not another of your little projects again," the mighty ruler of the heavens grumbled, striding into the room.

"But the screen is glowing gold!" she insisted.

"Let me see," Zeus walked over to Aphrodite's screens. "Why, yes, the screen's glowing! How fabulous," he said sarcastically.

"Exactly!" Aphrodite ignored the sarcasm and turned the tables. "You think so, too, don't you?" Ignoring Zeus' protests yet again, she said, "The screens glow gold when a milestone is about to happen! It's going to be great! These two are soul mates but don't know it!"

"Of course they don't!" Zeus rolled his eyes.

"By thunder, what's got into your pants this morning?" the goddess of love frowned.

"Hera," Zeus complained softly.

"Physically or mentally?" Aphrodite chuckled.

Zeus scowled. "Not funny, grandma!"

Aphrodite stopped abruptly. "I'm not your grandma!"

"You're my aunt."

"Don't say that! It makes me feel old!"

"We are old."

"Not in looks! Now, watch!" Aphrodite shushed the ruler and turned her attention back to the would-be couple.

"Damn you, Malfoy!" Hermione shouted, advancing on him.

"Why, the mudblood does not like her pink hair? It's better than your normal hair!" Draco said snidely.

That wasn't the truth, and boy did Hermione know it.

"Well, I must say, pink skin was better than your normal vampire look," she retorted.

"Vampire!" Malfoy said indignantly. "How so? I prefer a flawless look."

"And how so is your look flawless?"

"The whiteness!"

"There! You admitted it!" Hermione shouted triumphantly.

"What's wrong with whiteness?" Malfoy was genuinely confused.

"It makes you look dead or like a vampire." They both shivered.

"I don't want to be dead!" they wailed simultaneously.

They stared at each other.

"I don't wanna agree with the enemy! I don't wanna say what they're saying! I don't wanna do this!"

"Oh, aren't they cute?" Aphrodite sighed.

"Delusional, much," Hera snorted. She was still angry, as Zeus had chosen to sit as far away from her a possible.

"Well, they aren't doing a very good job of showing that they like each other," Athena, the ever observant one, pointed out.

"That's because they don't know it yet!" Aphrodite answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She received blank stares.

"You can't like someone and not know it," Apollo said.

"You can!" Aphrodite insisted. "They're soul mates. They find each other! The most common soul mates are those who hate each other!"

"Huh. That's sad," Artemis muttered.

"Like…" Aphrodite lit up. "Like Lily Evans and James Potter!"

"They died," Poseidon answered obviously, twirling his trident around, bored.

"Yes, because of true love!"

"How sad," Hera snickered.

"You claim to have true love with dear Zeus over there," Aphrodite said sweetly.

Hera paled. "We're not going to die!" she said indignantly.

"I'm not going to die," Zeus mumbled under his breath.

"What was that, dear?" Hera asked.

"Nothing."

Hermione and Malfoy were still in chorus-mode.

"Why am I agreeing with the enemy? Why am I shouting with her/him? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" they screamed. Then, gazing hatefully at each other, they shrieked, "EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

The authoress kindly opens a plot hole in the ceiling and lets sparkling heart-shaped confetti fall around the couple.

"I HATE HEARTS!" Hermione and Malfoy yelled.

The authoress lets two fluffy white bunnies to lope around the corner.

"Oh, aren't they cute?" said Hermione and a temporarily-out-of-character Malfoy.

A bunny bit Malfoy on the arm.

"Oh!" they both exclaimed.

~.~.~.~.~.

The authoress kindly lets Malfoy and Hermione out of their in-sync talking.

Malfoy: No thanks to you, woman!

Me: Where are your manners, young man?

Hermione: Malfoy! You are so rude!

Malfoy: So? This authoress is a HORRIBLE writer!

Me: How dare you! Reviewers can say that, but you? No! As a punishment, I am going to make you do the most embarrassing thing ever!

Malfoy: No! No! No!

Me: MWAHAHAHA! Too late, little Malfoy!

~.~.~.~.~.

Malfoy wailed, "Oh, it hurts! Oh, it hurts so much!"

"Are you okay, Malfoy?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"You care, don't you, Granger?" Malfoy suddenly smirked.

"No, I don't," Hermione said, looking very shocked.

"You do!" Malfoy sang, dancing around in a poor imitation of Michael Jackson.

"You look like a chicken," Hermione giggled.

The authoress changed Malfoy's hair to a Mohawk and his clothes to a chicken costume.

Malfoy grinned and began trying to do the chicken dance.

Hermione was bawling in laughter.

The authoress changed Hermione's clothes to punk ones, with a short leather top, thigh-high black leather high-heeled boots, netted black tights, long leather gloves, and a silver chain necklace.

Heavy metal music began playing, and Malfoy's clothes became punk clothes as well.

The lighting flashed, and the two began dancing funky moves.

A very shocked Pansy, Harry, Ron, and Ginny came to see Hermione and Malfoy partying it out in the dark with flashing white lights.

"What are you doing?" Pansy whispered, shocked.

Ron turned to her. "Care to dance?"

"Why, thank you!" Pansy smiled brightly at him, and Ron found Pansy wasn't such of a pug-face after all.

The six of them began partying, and it wasn't long until punk students, flashing white lights, and heavy metal music, occupied the whole castle.

"I'm so glad we helped them with the party!" Aphrodite beamed in happiness.

"Let's join the party!" Zeus decided, and in a rumble and flash the hall was empty.

"What the?" Malfoy asked in confusion when twelve party-costumed adults appeared in a flash.

"Hey everyone!" Zeus smiled warmly. "We are the Greek gods—now I think that sounded lame."

Everyone laughed.

"Now let's get the party started!" the Ruler of the Heavens roared jovially.

Then there was such a great party that Hogwarts had never experienced since it started.

You didn't think it'd end like that, did you?

The next morning Hermione woke up with her head on an immensely comfortable and warm pillow. She put her hand below her head, to find her head was resting on warm, smooth skin.

Hermione yelped softly and tried to sit up, only to have a pale hand rest on her stomach and push her back down.

Malfoy.

"What are you doing?" she whispered angrily, having just noticed the mass of people sleeping on the floor in the Great Hall. Hermione smiled affectionately when she saw Ginny sleeping with Harry, then smiled again, surprised, to see Ron sleeping with Pansy.

"Enjoying the moment," he replied. "_Hermione._"

Hermione did a double take. "What?"

"Hermione," Malfoy answered.

Hermione was too stunned for words.

"You didn't get drunk, you know," he added. "We just danced together until six in the morning when we crashed and went to sleep."

Hermione felt that was rather unbelievable, but when she saw twelve adults who all looked suspiciously like the Greek gods she had always had an interest in eating breakfast at a table, she sighed and decided to believe everything. "When did we start dancing?" she asked.

"Six afternoon yesterday," Malfoy smirked.

"Eek," Hermione grinned.

"We're all punks, you know," Malfoy pointed out.

"Out clothes are, yes," Hermione smiled slightly, "Draco."

Draco suddenly stood up and did a victory dance.

"Huh," Hermione laughed, amused.

The students around them began stirring, and Draco looked around, slightly panicked.

"Why are you panicked?" Hermione asked, frowning.

Then without warning, Draco leaned down, pecked Hermione on her lips, then ran out of the Great Hall, grabbing toast and an apple as he did so.

His last actions rather ruined the moment.

The peaceful silence was broken through by a melodious female voice crying out triumphantly, "ZEUS! I WON THE BET!"

A royal-sounding deep baritone voice responded, "That's so unfair!"

"No, it isn't," the first voice said smugly, and Hermione managed to pinpoint the sound to a woman who surpassed every single mortal woman, witch or Muggle, in beauty, grace, and talent.

It was Aphrodite.

That meant the grey haired and bearded man with a gold crown, which looked suspiciously like a lightning bolt was Zeus.

"But, Aphrodite, you knew what was going to happen! You are the goddess of love and beauty after all," another, sweet but firm female voice argued.

It was Artemis. This goddess was wearing a silvery-grey dress (that looked like Draco's eyes), high-heeled sliver stilettos, and had a silver and white bow and quiver slung across her back.

"No, I didn't," Aphrodite said heatedly.

Draco chose this moment to reenter, blushing terribly.

Hermione thought that was rather cute.

"…Just because they are soul mates doesn't mean they end up together!"

Draco and Hermione froze.

Why couldn't he have entered five seconds later?

(Duh. Because he had just finished his toast and apple.)

"Aphrodite!" Hestia said in exasperation, pointing at the frozen two.

"Oops," Aphrodite said, not looking remorseful at all.

"Wait," Hermione said slowly.

"Wait," Draco said at the exact same time.

"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET MARRIED?" they shrieked at the exact same time.

The authoress kindly puts them in wedding dress and sets up the Hall in a glorious, white rose and ribbon way which every bride wants.

Everyone else was suddenly sitting in a golden-cloth-covered chair in formal dress, Ginny, Pansy, Luna, and Daphne Greengrass were bridesmaids, Blaise, Harry, Ron, and Fred and George (as they definitely would refuse if both weren't chosen) were best men, and the Malfoy and Granger families were all there.

"AAAAAAHHH!" Draco and Hermione shrieked at the exact same time.

There was pandemonium.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

The audience suddenly yelled together, "WE'RE ALL AT A WEDDING!" and cheered and threw hats, shoes (which hurt a few heads), bags, flowers, and more into the air.

Draco and Hermione grinned at each other, and Draco did a messy proposal right on the wedding platform with a ring the authoress very kindly put in (YOU'VE GOT TO THANK ME LATER, DRACO MALFOY!) by saying:

"Hermione, I found out you are my soul mate and also that I love you very much. Marry me, Hermione!"

(Cheesiest thing ever!)

To which Hermione replied, "YES!" and they got married in five minutes.

It was the most non-formal wedding in the entire world.


End file.
